What will it take?”
“It would take you acknowledging that you treated me unfairly for years. It would take you admitting that there was always room at the beach house, but you chose to give it all to Olivia. It would take you apologizing to my children for making them feel unwanted at family gatherings.”
“I can’t apologize for decisions I made in the best interest of the family.”
“Then we don’t have anything else to talk about.”
“You’re really going to throw away our relationship over a vacation house?”
“Mom, I’m not throwing anything away.
I’m just done pretending that being related to someone means you have to let them treat you poorly. I’m done teaching my children that family means accepting less than you deserve.”
It has been 6 months since I purchased the resort. Business is fantastic.
I’m expanding into a second property, and my graphic design firm has grown into a full-ervice digital agency with eight workers. Alex and Mia are prospering. They’re confident, joyful youngsters who understand their worth and refuse to be treated as inferior by anyone.
Some family members have attempted to arbitrate between Mom and me, but I am not interested. I’ve spent far too many years as the family’s peacekeeper, covering up other people’s bad behavior and making excuses for being mistreated. Olivia sent me a friend request on Facebook last month.
I declined it. Mom sends me stories about how families heal from conflict and the value of forgiveness. I delete them without having read them.
By June, the resort was fully booked until September. I had waiting lists for every weekend, and corporate groups booked us for retreats months in advance. The success was overwhelmingly positive.
Alex finished fourth grade with all A’s, while Mia excelled in second grade. They both joined the local swim team and made friends quickly. For the first time in years, they weren’t wondering why they couldn’t attend family reunions or why Grandma didn’t seem to like them as much as their cousins.
“Mom,” Alex said one evening as we ate supper on the resort’s veranda. “Jack asked me at school why we don’t come to the beach house anymore.”
Jack was Olivia’s oldest kid and he went to the same school as Alex. I was wondering when this conversation would come up.
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him we have our own place now. He said it looked way cooler than Grandma’s house when he saw the pictures on Instagram.”
I smiled. The resort had a great social media presence and I posted frequently about activities, stunning sunset photos, and happy families enjoying their visits.
It wasn’t meant to be petty, but I’ll be honest, it felt wonderful knowing Olivia undoubtedly saw every message. “He asked if he could come visit sometime,” Alex said. “I told him I didn’t know if his mom would let him.”
It stung a little.
The kids were innocent in all of this, and Jack had always been nice to Alex and Mia, but I wasn’t about to open that door. Rachel, the daughter of my cousin David, announced her engagement in July. The wedding was scheduled for October, and it would be the first major family gathering since everything had exploded.
David called to personally invite me. “Amelia, I know things are complicated with your mom and Olivia right now, but Rachel really wants you there. You’ve been so generous to our family, and she considers you one of her favorite aunts.”
“Will Mom and Olivia be there?”
“Of course.
It’s a family wedding, but Rachel specifically asked me to make sure you knew how much she wants you to come. She said, ‘If anyone deserves to celebrate with a family, it’s you.’”
I thought about it for a week. Rachel was a beautiful girl who had always been kind to me and my children.
She did not deserve to have her wedding day ruined by family strife. “I’ll be there,” I assured David. “But I’m bringing security.”
“Security?”
“Just one guy.
someone to make sure things don’t get out of hand if Olivia decides to make a scene.”
The wedding was gorgeous. Rachel looked stunning, and the wedding was held in a beautiful vineyard approximately 1 hour from the city. I arrived with Alex and Mia dressed to the nines.
I purchased Mia a lovely navy blue frock and Alex a crisp little suit. They looked like they belonged at any upscale occasion. Mom noticed us instantly during cocktail hour.
She approached with caution as if she didn’t know what to expect. “Amelia, you look wonderful. The kids have grown so much.”
“Thank you.”
“How have you been?
I heard the resort is doing very well.”
“It is.”
She waited for me to elaborate, but I did not. After a few awkward seconds, she attempted again. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation at Christmas.
Maybe we could talk sometime soon.”
“Maybe.”
Olivia appeared at Mom’s shoulder, appearing as if she’d rather be somewhere else. “Hi, Amelia.”
“Olivia.”
“The kids look nice,” she observed, staring at Alex and Mia, who were talking with their second cousins near the appetizer table. “They do.”
The talk was painfully unpleasant.
Other family members continued approaching our small group, evidently thinking we’d resolve things right there at the wedding, but I was no longer interested in making others feel comfortable at my expense. When dinner was served, I observed something intriguing. The seating arrangement had assigned me and my children at the main family table directly between Uncle Benjamin’s family and Aunt NY’s family.
Mom and Olivia sat at a separate table with Olivia’s children and Mike. Rachel had made a decision that wasn’t in Mom’s favor. During the reception, Rachel approached me during the dancing section of the evening.
“Auntie, thank you so much for coming. I know things are weird with Grandma Evelyn right now.”
“Your wedding day isn’t about family drama, sweetheart. I’m here to celebrate you.”
“I just want you to know that what you did with the resort weekend was amazing.
Cousin David’s family still talks about it all the time. They said it was the best vacation they’d ever had.”
“I’m glad they enjoyed it.”
“And I want you to know that I see how hard you work and what you’ve accomplished. Not everyone in the family gives you credit for it, but some of us do.”
Rachel’s words meant more to me than she probably knew.
Here was a 24year-old with more emotional intelligence than persons twice her age. As the evening came to a close, Olivia cornered me near the bar. “We need to talk,” she continued plainly drunk.
“No, we don’t.”
“Yes, we do. This has gone on long enough. You’re tearing the family apart.”
“I’m not tearing anything apart, Olivia.
I’m just not participating in my own mistreatment anymore.”
“Oh, please. Mistreatment. You’re being dramatic.”
“8 years, Olivia.
Eight years of being told there wasn’t room for my kids at family vacations. Eight years of listening to you make comments about my career and my life choices. Eight years of watching my children feel excluded while your kids got treated like royalty.”
“Those weren’t personal attacks.
I was just being honest about your situation.”
“My situation?”
“You mean the situation where I built a six-figure business from scratch while raising two kids on my own? That situation?”
Olivia’s face turned red. “You act like you’re so successful now.
But where was all this money when we were growing up? Why didn’t you have a stable job when your kids were little?”
“Because I was building something better than a stable job. I was building a business.
I was investing in my future instead of settling for comfortable mediocrity.”
“Comfortable mediocrity. I have a good marriage and four healthy kids.”
“And I’m happy for you, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I’m less than you because I chose a different path.”
Olivia looked around to ensure no one was listening before leaning in. “You want to know the truth?
Mom was trying to protect you. She knew you couldn’t afford to contribute to vacation expenses the way Mike and I could. She was trying to save you the embarrassment.”
I stared at her for a long time.
“Olivia, I offered to pay for my share of expenses every single year. Every year, I told Mom I could cover food, utilities, whatever she needed. She never once asked me to contribute anything.”
“That’s not.
That’s not how I remember it.”
“That’s because you were never part of those conversations. You just assumed I was broke because it made you feel better about excluding me.”
Marcus, a lovely guy who does event security as a side company, appeared at my elbow. I’d asked him to keep an eye on things
