The Deal of a Lifetime

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful woman. “I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the 75K asking price,” said the man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there.

You insisted there could be no discounts on this model.”

“Well, what can I tell you?

She had the ready cash, and just look at her.

How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then, the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. “There you go,” she said.

“I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.

See you later, grandpa.”

================================
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands, they walked back to their old school.

It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home.

There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars! Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”

Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door.

“Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

Sally said,”No.”

Jerry said, “She’s lying.

She hid it up in the attic.”

Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Jerry said, “Well when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”

================================
An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing.

Both were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs.

When suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, and goes back to her knitting. Her husband, puzzled, asks, “What was that for?”

She replied, “That was for 50 years of bad s**.”

He goes back to his newspaper, but a few minutes later, he looks at his wife and whacks her across the head.

The wife, also puzzled asks him, “What was that for?”

Not looking up from his newspaper, the husband answers,

“That is for knowing the difference.”

Related Posts

My Stepmother Said I Had Already Left the Navy Until a Man in Dress Whites Walked Straight Toward Me

I came home to Virginia with one plan so plain it should have been impossible to ruin. I wanted to sit in the back row, clap when…

My Daughter and Her Husband Left Me to Raise Their Kids While They Built Their Careers — They Came Back 7 Years Later

Seven years ago, my daughter dropped her two young kids on my doorstep, promising to return in a year. I believed her. But one year turned into…

My Parents Ignored My Call When My Husband Died Then Came Back Asking for His Money

When Ethan Cole collapsed in the kitchen, Savannah first thought he had dropped something. The sound was sharp and ordinary, a coffee mug striking tile and breaking…

My sister rested a hand on her belly and announced she was carrying my husband’s child, then asked me to give up the house “for the baby.” So I revealed a secret neither of them saw coming: my husband was sterile. His face went white as he turned to her and whispered, “Then whose baby is it?”

They sat across the table expecting me to sign away half of my life to support their betrayal. My husband and sister thought this dinner was their…

I attended my granddaughter’s wedding. Right at the front entrance, my son stepped into my path and said, “Mom, your name isn’t on the list.” Two hundred guests stood nearby, all of them watching me. I simply said, “It’s alright, son.” Then I turned around, went back home, and called my attorney. By the next morning, a letter was delivered directly to his house.

My name is Denise Parker. I am seventy-two years old, a widow, and until that evening I had still been foolish enough to believe that love, if…

The Smallest Voice at the Wedding..

During a wedding ceremony, everyone was focused on appearances, schedules, and formal speeches when a young stepbrother suddenly asked an unexpected question. He innocently wanted to know…