“Honestly?” I said, folding my arms as I looked down at him. “You deserved this.”
Then I pulled out my phone and called for an ambulance.
I stayed with him until the EMTs loaded him into the back. Chase hovered awkwardly beside us, silent, avoiding my eyes completely. I gave them a little wave as they pulled away.
And then I walked back into the resort, slid my sunglasses back on, and booked myself into a suite overlooking the ocean, and upgrade from the initial room I’d been slotted in.
For the next six days, I did all the things we had planned, just without him.
I took the yoga class by the shore at sunrise. I ordered seafood risotto at the fancy restaurant on the cliff. I booked the full-body massage and the private snorkeling trip. I drank champagne in a hot tub by myself and toasted to clarity.
I didn’t cry. I didn’t call Ryan. I just… remained present in the moment.
He texted, of course.
“I’m so sorry… Sasha.”
“Can we talk?”
“This was a mistake.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
I didn’t respond. What could I say that wouldn’t dull the lesson?
By the time I returned home, Ryan had already been discharged and was back, hobbling around the house on crutches, a medical boot strapped tightly around his ankle.
He tried to talk. I listened for a while. He said the usual things. That he didn’t think it was a big deal. That he just wanted some guy time. That I always made things heavier than they were. That he didn’t cheat… so it didn’t count.
I let him talk.
And then I told him that when someone builds a life with you, plans with you, dreams with you, and you throw that away for a few days of fun because you think they’re too distracted with grief and worry to notice… that is betrayal.
That does count.
Ryan asked if we could try again.
“Please, Sasha. Let’s give it another go. We’ve been so strong for so long…”
“I need space, Ryan. I’m so grateful that my mother is on a slow recovery. If she wasn’t, I don’t know what I would have done with the reality of it all… I left her here because I wanted to confront you. And to think… I could have lost…”
“I didn’t force you to come,” he said, defensive. “You could have just phoned and asked me.”
“And which lie would you have given me, Ryan? That you were in a meeting with a client and that you’d call me back?”
For now, he’s staying at a friend’s place. Chase, I assume. I don’t care.
I’m still figuring out what comes next and whether forgiveness is possible. Or whether the damage is too deep.
What I do know is this:
Sometimes, the best way to handle betrayal isn’t with yelling or tears. It’s a quiet flight, a sunlit photo, and a solo vacation that feels like the first breath of freedom in years.
Now, my mother is slowly getting back on her feet. She’s encouraging me to leave Ryan.
“If he could lie so freely about this, Sasha, imagine what else…” she said, sitting down with a cup of tea.
I’m just grateful that she pulled through her illness while I was gone. I wouldn’t be able to bear the alternative otherwise. Now, I need to figure out if a six-year marriage is worth fighting for… or if letting go is my best option.
