When something big occurs in a family, we often have to make hard choices. One of our readers recently found herself in a heart-wrenching situation just as she was starting her new life as a wife. On the night of her wedding, a serious situation altered everything.
This is Cassie’s story:
My 16 y.o. stepson got into a car accident the night of our wedding. He is in intensive care but stable.
Still, my husband wants to skip our honeymoon. I said, ’’It’s not like he di:ed!’’ But he insisted, and I went alone. Once there, I opened Facebook and froze when I saw a selfie taken by my stepson on the hospital bed; by his side were my husband and his ex-wife.
They were all smiles, as if they were the perfect family. My blood started to boil. I called my husband 11 times, but he didn’t pick up, and he didn’t reply to my texts for 5 days.
I was crushed, and my first days as a bride turned into a nightmare. Before we got married, he kept saying that I was the most important person in his life. But during this solo trip I was shocked to realize that in reality, I didn’t matter at all to him, and that his true family would always be his son and ex-wife.
I am lost and furious all at once. How do you think I should handle this?
Being left out of family gatherings can be incredibly hurtful, especially when the reason isn’t scheduling conflicts, but subtle (or not-so-subtle) judgment.
One often unspoken reason people get excluded is that they don’t have children. One of our readers recently shared their story
Hi,
My husband and I have been married for five years, and we hoped to spend the holidays with his family. His mother usually plans the family vacations, so we visited his parents to see if we could join this year.
My mother-in-law told us they wouldn’t be available. She explained that this year’s trip was just for the kids—it was a family outing to Disneyland. And since we don’t have children, we weren’t included.
My husband was sh0cked and asked her why we couldn’t come along anyway. She looked at him and said, “It’s a family trip with activities for families.” I stood there, speechless, unsure how to respond. My husband tried to explain that we planned to have children in our own time, but his mother didn’t accept that.
She simply said, “When you give me grandkids, then you can join the family vacations.” At first, I thought she was joking—but my husband’s expression told me she was completely serious. He was devastated. For years, during our relationship, he defended her and tried to rationalize her behavior.
But this moment made him realize the truth—his mother wasn’t the warm, caring person he always claimed she was. So, instead of sulking, we decided to take our own vacation. And while we were away, we found out I was pregnant.
When we shared the news, my mother-in-law’s attitude changed instantly. Suddenly, my husband was her favorite child. She began discussing future family trips and offering advice we didn’t ask for.
But my husband told her firmly not to include us in any of her future plans. We would raise our child on our terms, and she would have no say in how we did things from now on. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
It’s never easy to navigate situations like these, but you’re not alone.
