I watched them smash my motorcycle while I was inside the church, saying a last goodbye to my wife. It happened right there in the parking lot on the very day of her funeral. Someone flipped my Harley onto its side, cracked the mirrors, bent the handlebars, ripped open the saddlebags, and then taped a cardboard sign to the wreck. The words on that sign said everything they truly felt about me:
BIKER TRASH — GET OUT
That damage was no random act by strangers who happened to stroll through. It was a message from the same “polite” neighbors who had smiled during Barbara’s service, shaken my hand, and told me how sorry they were for my loss. They had whispered that they were praying for me, all while knowing that a few steps away, my bike lay broken on the blacktop. These were the same people who had spent months telling me I did not belong in their clean little subdivision because an old biker in a leather vest ruined their country-club image.
Moving to Cedar Hills
Six months earlier, Barbara and I had arrived in Cedar Hills, “the finest planned community in the state,” or so the glossy brochures claimed. Barbara’s cancer had returned, stage four this time, and our old two-story house had become an obstacle course she could not handle. Our daughter Caroline found us a single-story ranch, perfect for Barbara’s wheelchair and oxygen lines. Caroline kept saying it was the “nicest neighborhood” around. What she meant was simple: quiet streets, strict rules, and absolutely no motorcycles.
I am seventy-two years old. I rode my first bike at seventeen, joined the Marines at nineteen, and stuck with two wheels through Vietnam, through raising two kids, through every broken bone and every birthday. There was no chance I would hide who I was now. I brought my 2008 Harley Electra Glide—nicknamed the Black Widow—along with our boxes of dishes and photo albums. That motorcycle had carried me across fifteen states and down countless hospital parking ramps. It was part of me.
The trouble started before the movers finished unloading. Howard Parkman, president of the homeowners association, came striding up our driveway holding a clipboard like it was a weapon. He wore loafers so shiny you could use them as mirrors and a sweater knotted around his neck even though it was eighty degrees.
“Welcome to Cedar Hills,” Howard said. His smile looked polite, but his eyes flicked behind me toward Barbara, who was directing movers even while leaning on a cane. “Thought I’d drop off our community guidelines. Please take special note of section twelve-B—transportation equipment.”
I flipped to the page. The rule was bold and underlined: No recreational vehicles, boats, or motorcycles may be stored in driveways or visible from the street.
“My bike sleeps in the garage,” I told him, staring right back.
Howard’s smile tightened half a millimeter. “That’s fine temporarily. You’ll find Cedar Hills residents prefer more traditional vehicles. We pride ourselves on a certain… standard.”
Barbara shuffled over and slipped her thin hand into mine. Even on chemo she could summon iron in her voice. “My husband has ridden that bike longer than some of these houses have stood, Mr. Parkman. It’s staying.”
Howard’s gaze bounced from Barbara’s headscarf to her determined eyes, and I watched his bravado drain away. “We can discuss this another time,” he muttered before retreating.
The War of Section Twelve-B
For the next six months my wife chased her treatments while I fended off the HOA. Each morning I pushed the Black Widow down the driveway, started her gently, and rode to the store or the clinic. Each ride triggered a fresh complaint: “excessive noise,” “oil stains,” “lowering property values.” There were no oil stains—my garage floor was clean enough to eat lunch on—but that did not slow them. Anonymous notes appeared on the bike whenever I paused to wash it:
Your kind belongs on the highway, not in Cedar Hills.
Sell the noise machine or move.
Every few weeks Howard rang the bell, clipboard ready. “Another reminder about section twelve-B,” he’d say, tilting his head like a schoolteacher scolding a slow student. “Several neighbors remain concerned.”
Barbara still found humor in it. Some nights she would grin weakly and whisper, “If they think your Harley is scary, wait till I start haunting them.” Her laugh became more of a breathy wheeze, yet the sparkle never left her eyes.
Losing Barbara
On a cool Tuesday morning in October, Barbara slipped away while holding my hand. The house felt hollow the moment her breathing stopped. The next days came at me like waves: hospice paperwork, funeral arrangements, distant relatives sending flowers, casseroles arriving from neighbors who had slipped nasty notes under my door only a week earlier.
Caroline, organized as always, handled phone calls and guest lists, but she pulled me aside the night before the funeral.
“Dad, maybe it’s time to sell the motorcycle,” she said softly. “Mom is gone. You’re seventy-two. This neighborhood clearly isn’t compatible with that lifestyle.”
I studied my polished-up daughter—the gray business skirt, the tightly pulled hair, the sensible SUV parked at the curb. She looked nothing like the little girl who once squealed with joy from a sidecar while her mom waved from the pillion seat. That child had vanished beneath layers of boardrooms, PTA meetings, and property values.
“The bike stays,” I answered.
Caroline opened her mouth, closed it, then nodded sadly. “Understood.”
The Funeral
Friday morning I rode to the church early, the Harley rumbling like a distant drumbeat in the quiet dawn. Some mourners frowned when they heard it, but I did not care. Barbara would have wanted my arrival on two wheels. The service itself was beautiful. They spoke of Barbara’s kindness, her fierce spirit, her ready laugh. Howard attended with his perfect posture and delivered a handshake that felt colder than marble.
After the last hymn, mourners drifted outside. I stepped into the gray afternoon, still numb from sorrow—and froze. My motorcycle lay on its side. Mirrors shattered. Front fender twisted. Saddlebags slashed. A bent signboard rested against the frame, its spray-painted words shouting: BIKER TRASH GET OUT.
Caroline’s hand flew to her mouth. “Dad!”
Around us voices murmured, a mixture of shock and awkward shuffling feet. Yet something else caught my eye: a small knot of Cedar Hills residents standing farther off by the hedge. At the center was Howard, arms folded, lips curved in the faintest smirk. He did not look shocked. He looked satisfied.
Calling the Police
Officer Reynolds from the local department arrived within fifteen minutes. He knelt beside the Harley, tapping the broken mirror with a gloved finger.
“Sorry for your loss, sir. Both of them, actually,” he said, nodding toward the church. “Seems personal.”
“It is,” I replied. “And it happened while I was burying my wife.”
Reynolds panned his flashlight across tire marks. “Anyone around here have issues with you?”
I raised an eyebrow toward Howard’s group. “Plenty.”
The officer followed my gaze. “We’ll check the security cameras. Church lot’s got three of ’em. If someone touched your bike, we’ll see.” He scribbled a few more notes. “In the meantime, want me to call a tow?”
“I’ll ride it home,” I said.
Reynolds eyed the bent bars. “You sure?”
“I’ve ridden through worse.” And it was true. I once limped two hundred miles with a cracked frame after hitting black ice in Wyoming. A few dents would not stop the Black Widow from carrying me one last time for Barbara.
Reception at the House
Back in the driveway, I parked the wounded bike and covered it gently. Inside, friends and family gathered in muted clusters, balancing paper plates of potato salad, speaking in the careful tones people use around fresh grief. I changed into jeans, a dark shirt, and my leather vest—the one with the Vietnam Veteran rocker and the Iron Horses MC patch. The fabric felt like armor after my stiff funeral suit.
Howard found me near the cookie trays. “Terrible about your motorcycle,” he said, voice soft but eyes sharp. “Perhaps a signal that a noisy vehicle is not right for our quiet community.”
I faced him fully. “It is also a signal that someone here vandalized property during a funeral.”
He dabbed non-existent crumbs from his chin. “I’m certain the police will handle it.”
“I’m certain they will,” I agreed. “They’ll pull the camera footage.”
For the first time, Howard’s smile faltered.
Drawing the Line
He cleared his throat. “Regardless, many neighbors feel the Harley is… discordant. Maybe you’d prefer a quiet sedan. I know a realtor who—”
I cut him off. “Howard, I have buried my wife, my parents, and sixteen riding brothers. I have faced mortars in Khe Sanh and brain tumors in hospice suites. If someone thinks a busted mirror and spray paint will make me run, they underestimate me.”
People nearby shifted uncomfortably.
