5 Real Stories That Are the Definition of “Cringe”

No matter how much we try to avoid them, awkward situations happen to everyone, and strangely, they often occur at the worst possible times. While many people feel super embarrassed in those moments, some choose to just laugh it off. What’s even more interesting is that they might share these funny mishaps online with lots of people, turning an awkward experience into a funny memory.

• My wife and I sleep naked. I woke up one morning to find myself covered in brown streaks—legs, arms, and a big spot on my stomach. I looked over and said, “What happened?” as I noticed my wife’s whole back and arms were also covered.
  Turns out, she was eating chocolate chips in bed, forgot about them, and the bag spilled open and melted between us while we slept. We laughed it off, but it was definitely a terrifying thing to wake up to.

• I used to live in a relatively small town where I had a relatively large friend group. A couple of years back, I returned to the town, and I recognized one of them I had been particularly close with. I walked up to them, said, “Hey.” They didn’t have a clue who I was.

• A co-worker and I went out for a bite to eat after work one day. While we were eating, he coughed, and a small piece of his corned beef landed on my hand, but I didn’t notice that it had come from him; I thought part of my messy sandwich had fallen and landed there. I figured it out when I licked it off my hand and tasted corned beef instead of turkey, and he got a horrified look on his face. I chewed, swallowed, and continued on as if everything was perfectly normal.

• I uploaded an Instagram selfie to my ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page because I had logged into it after we broke up, and it was still connected to my Instagram. I got a lot of text messages about it and sat in a dark closet for about an hour after deleting it. The shame still runs deep.

• In 5th grade, I went to school on Halloween Costume Day completely dressed up like a pirate. Makeup, costume, hair, everything. Walked into school only to realize no one else was wearing a costume and that dress-up day was tomorrow. Had to wait until lunch for my mom to bring me new clothes.

• When I was in college, I REALLY liked this girl, and I finally got invited over to her dorm. She made me a grilled cheese sandwich, but I was so nervous I just couldn’t eat it. So with a mouth full of grilled cheese, I asked to use the bathroom and spit it out in the toilet. I think she knew what I did because as I was leaving, she said, “I hope the food’s better next time.” It was just so awkward, and I felt bad.

• I was applying for my first job at the age of 15. During the interview, we started talking about my previous experience as a competitive gymnast (I left gymnastics a few years before because it was too much commitment, and I wanted to focus on school). He asked me why I quit gymnastics, and I replied: “It felt like a job.” Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

• During my freshman year of high school, I was looking over at a girl’s test to cheat. I was about to get caught by my teacher, so I made a quick movement, but it caused me to fall sideways, taking the desk with me. I rolled to the side, and the part of the desk with the writing tabletop landed upward, essentially trapping me in the desk. I had to crawl up and out to free myself.

• We were sitting together with the whole family on Christmas and were telling jokes. I was 10 or 11 at that time. I wanted to sound educated and grown up and said, “Now it’s my turn to tell you one of the jokes I have collected in all my generations,” wanting to express that I’ve heard a lot of jokes in my life, and couldn’t understand why everyone was laughing.

• I was minding my own business in my house when my grandma called me over to the window because there was a loose dog across the street. He was just a little guy, so I decided to go investigate and see if we could find his owners. I walked over to him, picked him up, and started back home when I hear this man say, “Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, where are you going with my dog?” I look over to see an entire family staring at me as I basically steal their dog. I still get that sinking feeling when I think about the moment I realized they had been there the whole time.

• When I was 16, I got set up with a family friend’s daughter, and we started dating in a long-distance relationship. After a month or so, it was school holidays, and I went up to visit her. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I wanted to buy her a gift. I settled on a beautiful jigsaw puzzle.
  She wasn’t too happy about the gift. Because she was blind. Yes, I bought my blind girlfriend a jigsaw puzzle. It still haunts me.

• When I was in 5th grade, I sat next to my crush in school. They let us go home for lunch, and every day before going back to school, I would spray some of my mom’s perfume to impress him. One day, he says, “Do you smell that? It’s giving me a headache.” I said I didn’t smell anything and stopped using the perfume after that. I’m 35 years old, and I still think about it.

Just like cringeworthy situations, spooky events are something we all hope to avoid, but they happen more often than we realize. The eerie stories in this compilation are even more unsettling than you might imagine.